When I’m Sad

Lyrics • en

You say I don’t love you
But I want you when I’m sad
Like a phone I shouldn’t pick up
Like the last good thing I had

I know that isn’t pretty
I know that isn’t fair
But when the night gets heavy
You’re the only name in there

I don’t know how to hold you
Without holding on too hard
I don’t know how to miss you
Without tearing us apart

I don’t know how to need you
In a way that lets you breathe
I just know the room gets colder
Every time you start to leave

Maybe I don’t love you right
Maybe I want what I can’t have
Maybe I only reach for you
When the silence gets too bad

But don’t say I don’t love you
Like there’s nothing here to save
Some hearts only notice
What they had a little late

You say I come back running
When my world begins to fall
But I was never good at speaking
When I had it all

I was careless with the daylight
I was brave behind a wall
Now every little thing I wasted
Feels like writing on the door

I don’t know how to tell you
That I’m sorry without shame
I don’t know how to touch you
Without reaching through the blame

I don’t know how to love you
In the easy way you need
I just know I keep on breaking
In the places where you used to be

Maybe I don’t love you right
Maybe I want what I can’t have
Maybe I only reach for you
When the silence gets too bad

But don’t say I don’t love you
Like there’s nothing here to save
Some hearts only notice
What they had a little late

I don’t want to be the reason
You keep sleeping with only a hope
I don’t want to be the promise
That keeps bending till it’s broken

I don’t want to need your kindness
Only when I’m out of light
I don’t want to call it love
If it only comes at night

But I am trying
With these hands that shake
I am learning
What it means to stay

Not just when I’m lonely
Not just when I’m scared
Not just when the room is empty
And I need to know you’re there

Maybe I don’t love you right
Maybe I want what I can’t have
Maybe I only reach for you
When the silence gets too bad

But don’t say I don’t love you
Like I never felt the weight
Some hearts only notice
What they had a little late

Maybe I don’t love you clean
Maybe I made you feel alone
Maybe I kept you near enough
To never feel the cold

But don’t say I don’t love you
Like I don’t know what I had
You’re the first thing that I reach for
When I’m sad

You say I don’t love you
But I want you when I’m sad
Like a phone I shouldn’t pick up
Like the last good thing I had